About Us

This blog is a device I created to bring my husband and I closer together. We are both busy individuals with demanding work schedules. My husband is a 30-year old doctor and I am a 25-year old kindergarden teacher. 

Earlier this year I fell into a funk which turned into a deep depression. I was not happy with my life despite having a Master’s degree, a great husband and loving family and pets. At 25 years old, I felt I had missed out on a lot of my life by going straight into school, working hard for years, and then working hard at work. I never got the “wild and crazy” out of my system, and before I knew it, I really did feel like a caged bird. A hummingbird because of all the energy I put into thinking about the future, worrying and becoming anxious about parts of my life I couldn’t change. My depression became clinical and my anxiety became a disorder. After a particularly stressful life event, I snapped, and with depression, anxiety and now PTSD (yes, doctor diagnosed), I felt I wasn’t strong enough to continue on with my life. I contemplated suicide.

While thinking about how I was going to end my life, thoughts of what I was missing also inevitable invaded my haze. One of the first things I thought of was how I had only been with one man my entire life. Call me slutty, call me a whore, but I consider it a life experience that I had just plain missed out on.

The sex between my husband and I is amazing, don’t get me wrong, we make each other very happy, and I contribute any and all of my skills between the sheets to our time together. But I wanted more. I wanted to know that there were more men out there besides him who wanted me, who found me attractive, who cherished me and my body in ways my husband didn’t. I found myself wanting it more rough, I wanted to be told what to do.

My hummingbird brain was constantly thinking, darting from one aspect of my life to another, often never finishing one train of thought before flitting to something else. What I craved was to be with someone who could take over the thinking for me, while at the same time making me feel safe and give me the crazy experiences I craved.

After getting help for my various problems, I was suddenly happy again. A very black, very large cloud filled with pits and cavities that hid my fears had suddenly been lifted, nearly as fast as it had clouded my mind.

Feeling so much better, I decided not to waste my new-found love for life and I joined a website for like-minded kinky individuals. This blog is a way for me to express myself, to share my experiences, to inform my husband, and to possibly take some of the stigma and bad juju off of BDSM.

Welcome to my erotic journey.

Yours,

Birdie